Reign (Roam Series, Book Six) Read online

  “Yes, Mother. I understand.” I gave her a reassuring smile, continuing down the hall. Torches lit the darkness in evenly spaced sections. “I am… in love… with Troy,” I managed to breathe, so very unconvincing.

  “I have heard of his… qualities… relentlessly over the past months,” she added, laughing again. “This young king is quite handsome.”

  “Young king?”

  “Only eighteen years of age, and he has built a powerful kingdom. You will reign by his side, Roamina.”

  I held my hand up again, focusing on my ring finger.

  My clothes, my emotions… the veracity, the realness of everything around me…

  What if Eva took us to the past life… but also back in time? If the course of history is altered, in any way…

  I would cease to exist. My children would cease to exist.

  And I was going to marry Troy.

  I need to find West.

  “Roamina! Come, your knights await their lady,” my father’s strident laughter made me wince; I knew this laugh. He was trying to please someone.

  As I found his face in the hall, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

  He was my father. Twice the size, with a rotund belly and rosy cheeks, but still my dad.

  “There is your future queen!” He bellowed, his sweeping gesture catching the attention of the men lining the wooden tables. I scanned the crowd, taking in unfamiliar faces, ages, and weapons. So young… they are all so young.

  Knights… Troy’s knight.

  West.

  I nearly ran to the group of men, caught by my father’s jolly half-hug. “An honored man has accompanied these soldiers as they take you to your betrothed. He is the king’s first, Sir West, knight of the order of Icepond.” My father tucked his head against my cheek, and I almost keeled over at the smell of his breath. “With him is the king’s half brother, Prince Leo. Long lost and newly welcomed,” my father hesitantly added, and I sensed some censure in his voice.

  The confusion of the many people in the great hall was overwhelming. Men took their time looking over me, laughing, eating with their hands, muscled and bulging with the absence of processed foods and increased physical activity. The lack of personal hygiene was obvious, and I had to take a moment to wonder how most of the ladies were swooning over the new stock of men in the kingdom.

  And then I saw him.

  He stood from his place at the grand table, those blue eyes I’d cried to, made love with, and drowned in for the last nineteen years.

  My husband.

  He was an adaptation of himself in the high school classroom; no more than twenty-six or twenty-seven years old. His dark blonde, wavy hair hung to his neck, and his tanned skin, even in the apparent winter, stretched over muscles that appeared airbrushed. He hadn’t shaved in weeks, I guessed.

  I’d never once considered it was possible for my husband to look any more attractive. Even with his newly graying hair and the five extra pounds he’d complained about relentlessly for years, he had only grown more handsome.

  Our life… our children, our world… flashed before my eyes.

  He walked toward me, even taller and more broad shouldered than I knew him to be now. Bulging beneath chainmail, his body had the same power over me as always. I was breathless, unable to tear my gaze from him.

  So tempted to fold into his arms, I watched his jaw tighten, and I knew he was trying to silently restrain me.

  I snapped my eyes to the man at West’s side. Logan stood; Logan, his face, absolutely his face, his hair, his eyes… but a body that belonged oiled up on a Gold’s Gym ad. Muscular as the rest of them, he was at least two inches taller than the Logan that I knew.

  Holding my breath, I pulled away from my mother, gripping my hands together.

  Logan approached, bowing as he reached for my hand. I hesitated and met West’s eyes before offering him my shaking palm.

  “Princess,” he acknowledged. I frantically searched through his dark eyes, pleading with him to give me some kind of indication that he knew who I was.

  “Prince?” I whispered.

  Stoic, he nodded once. “Yes, your highness. We have a long journey ahead.”

  My heart fell. He doesn’t know me. Then West doesn’t know me.

  I’m stuck here, alone?

  “Then… we’re traveling? In the morning?”

  He stilled my trembling fingers, and West stepped forward.

  “Your highness,” he bowed, very low, and as he lifted his face, a cold chill ran down my spine.

  The same feeling I’d had on the first day of school… the first day I’d met him.

  “We should… wait… to travel… rest, take more time…,” I faltered, my nerves frayed, as I pleaded with his eyes for any sign of recognition.

  I was panicking.

  “Perhaps you should breathe, your highness,” West took my hand in his, kneeling before me and pressing a kiss to my fingers. I nodded, taking deep, even breaths, trying to focus. “His majesty insists we leave at first light.”

  “So soon,” I know my voice was trembling, and my mother looked between us, concerned.

  Logan’s face was stone, expressionless, and I turned back to West.

  He gripped my fingers, focused on my eyes. “I vow to honor and protect you, my lady. Take my hand, Princess, and take my whole life, too.”

  My breath caught in my throat. The lyrics of the Elvis song, our song, our lives, warmed me, and at the speed at which my muscles relaxed, I nearly fell into his arms.

  He bowed low again. “Breathe.”

  He knows me.

  I breathed; Logan moved back to the table, and West turned to smile at my parents. “It is an honor to finally meet the king… and queen… of Madreenon.”

  “The honor is ours, Sir West. You are a decorated soldier and a most admirable knight. You serve the young king as you served his father. You are most welcome in our kingdom.” My father assured him, and West bowed again. “Please! Eat! I have entertainment planned for this evening, and there will be dancing!”

  As my parents turned back to the table, West kept his eyes on the soldiers and spoke under his breath to me. “I love you, baby. You’re doing fine.”

  Oh, God. His words brought tears to my eyes, and I blinked them back. He knew me, which meant Logan knew me…

  Which meant I wasn’t alone here.

  “I love you,” I exhaled, barely audible, before taking a chair at the head table.

  I sat at my mother’s side, unable to stop looking up at West. I needed to know that he was there, comforted by just his presence. As I took in the castle around me, my mother and father and the people, I tried to calculate an approximate date to compare my surroundings to. Early 1300s?

  The meal was served, course after course of choices. I settled on some fruit and bread, and constantly looked for West. When our eyes finally met, he mouthed the word ‘eat,’ and I nodded, trying hard to stomach the meal.

  All I could think about were my children.

  Over the years, as I’d celebrated each birthday, I’d grown closer to Violet. When she had Wynn, she turned to me for advice and support, and we bonded over the element of motherhood. At twenty-seven, as an immortal, she’d officially stopped aging, and slowly I fit into her life as another kind of mother figure.

  She’d taught Eva to dance, she cared for Christopher while I went to school, and I loved her like I loved the children I’d given birth to.

  I loved her like West loved her, and I loved her for taking care of Logan.

  Shifting my eyes to Logan, I sighed. His grief was almost tangible from across the crowded hall. He ate slowly, his mind a thousand miles away from this nightmare, and I knew he was thinking about how to find a way home to Wynn and Rose.

  I can’t believe she’s really gone. Violet, with her quick, witty comments and her contagious grin, never failed to make the room light up when she entered. She was the only one who could put Eva in her place when she needed it mos
t.

  Eva.

  I tried not to think about Christopher and Eva. Every time I pictured my daughter’s beautiful, frightened face, I held my breath. When Meredith slapped her, it was all I could do to remain still.

  Will loves her; he’ll protect her. He has to.

  Trying to pull from my vast knowledge of the past, I attempted to organize my thoughts and plan.

  And then, from nowhere, my emotions would consume me, and I’d go from desperation to fear to heartache as I longed for West’s arms.

  Is it because I’m a sixteen-year-old girl? Or because I’m not taking my medication?

  I thought back to the last time I’d walked through the snow toward the castle of Icepond. I was only seventeen, so naïve, so afraid of the battle that we faced. I carried West’s child unknowingly, and agreed to stay with Troy in exchange for Eva’s safe passage home with West.

  And then… I died inside.

  The time in the castle, in Troy’s bed, had changed me in a so many ways. I tried multiple medications, first for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. When I began seeing Troy, actually seeing his face, West took me to another doctor who dealt specifically with delusional behavior. The antipsychotic that I was on now finally eliminated the hallucinations.

  Was on.

  If my mind traveled, would the hallucinations return? I shuddered at the memory of waking up in my bed at home, turning to see Troy lying next to me.

  And now, I was walking right into his arms.

  The cutting, the vomiting, the pain of the castle consumed me, and I dropped my fork, staring at the floor as the music began.

  Chapter Three

  West

  “May I request a private audience with her highness?”

  I spoke directly to her father. He nodded, turning to Roam with enthusiasm. “Of course! Roamina,” he gestured to me, and I turned to my wife.

  Roam stood, accepting my outstretched hand. As I lead her to the sitting area just beyond the thick, velvet curtains, her fingers pinched mine with every ounce of strength she must have possessed in her small body.

  She was my Roam, just slightly younger than the day I met her in my classroom.

  I now knew why Troy wanted her so badly.

  Her high cheekbones, her perfect lips, her eyes… all Roam. And since Troy remembered the prophecy, he remembered this her.

  And that was why he wanted her.

  She was entrancing…alluring.

  Provocative.

  So innocent…

  Her hair caught every torched flame in the hall, reflecting shades of auburn and mahogany, and her body curved in a way that Roam’s never had. Those eyes, now sparkling with tears, were the same eyes I’d searched for century after century.

  She took my breath away.

  “West,” she murmured, and I led her to a velvet, padded bench well within view of the entire hall.

  “I have a lot to say, baby, so hold on,” I fired, threading my fingers through hers. She squeezed her eyes closed, breathing deeply.

  “I’m just so glad you’re here.”

  “Listen,” I rushed, lowering my voice as much as possible. “After we take you to Icepond, I’m supposed to turn around and leave right away. I’ve been ordered to retrieve your wedding gift. Your sword.”

  “No! Send someone else!”

  “It’s not my decision.” I didn’t have to say Troy’s name. I knew she was already losing touch with reality; I knew that distant stare all through dinner, and I knew she was off her meds.

  “No,” she moaned, twisting my fingers in hers. “I’m not doing this again! I can’t!”

  I caught her hands in mine, stilling them. My furious whisper silenced her. “You really think I’d just hand you over to him? Again?”

  “That’s what it sounds like! I’ll kill him West-…,”

  “Stop,” I cut her off, speaking rapidly. “I know. Listen to me, Roam, please.”

  She stared around the room, and I knew her parents were watching us. Logan stood a few feet away, doing his best to guard our conversation.

  Violet.

  I began to think of my oldest daughter, and then immediately closed that part of my mind.

  “We cannot alter this past in any way. I’m coming to you tonight to stand guard. I’m going to put this journey to Icepond off as long as possible. We need to give Eva time to get us home.”

  “Are we in a past life? Or back in time?”

  “I think… both.”

  “So if we change anything, we’ll change our future?”

  “We know that you and Troy were married. We know that you and Logan had an affair. Logan is suffering, and there’s no way he’d touch you, so that I’m not worried about. You and I fell in love, and you were pregnant with my child.” I brushed my thumb back and forth over her palm. “We stick to the story for as long as possible until Eva gets us out of here. Or until Troy gets too close.”

  “You’re coming to me? Tonight?” She repeated, her wide eyes searching mine.

  I had centuries of experience opening my mind to believing in the prophecy, to believing she was born again and again. But my thirty-six year old wife in a sixteen-year-old’s body… I was having a difficult time resolving what I was going to do.

  “What? You’re staring at my chest. Don’t stare at them. They’re not really mine.”

  “Roam.” I rolled my eyes.

  “You were! I’m sixteen,” She accused, glaring at me, and I shook my head, trying my hardest not to grin at her indignant temper.

  “You look so much like you did... when I fell in love with you.”

  Her lips parted. Finally, she began piecing my words together, guessing at my intentions. “You’re coming to my room? You’ll stay with me?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “West,” she lowered her eyes, and I was drawn back into the beach cottage during that first summer… the first time I’d ever made love to her. Her long lashes fanned against her cheeks, and her lips were a constant shade of crimson.

  Some kind of testosterone-induced hunger burned through me.

  “I sure as fuck am not leaving you alone, not with all the men roving around this castle.”

  “Don’t curse.”

  “Since we have no idea what’s going on with Eva or Chris, I’m going to worry constantly. I can’t worry about you, too. I need my eyes on you, at all times.”

  She tightened her grip on my hands. “West, I know you’re hurting. I’m hurting. Logan is hurting.”

  “There’s nothing we can do. We have to keep going. Continue this story.” I leaned too close to her face. Anyone watching would find my proximity to her lips inappropriate, but I didn’t care at that point. “Tonight, I just want to turn off my goddamn mind and lose myself in you.”

  She pressed her thighs together, her eyes closing heavily. I knew that look on her face like I knew my own heartbeat. She was turned on, and I continued, my breath hot on her jaw. “I need you, baby. I know I’m not… really me, but I promise you, you won’t be disappointed.”

  “I’ve never been disappointed,” she exhaled, slowly opening her eyes.

  Her tongue traced her lips.

  My entire body reacted like I was the one who was sixteen years old, and she inhaled quickly, leaning even closer.

  “Okay, I know it’s you two in there, but the level of weird from the outside looking in is at Defcon five.”

  Our faces both whipped to Logan’s. He raised his eyebrows.

  “Logan,” Roam said him softly. “Are you okay?”

  He shrugged once, ignoring her.

  “Not really, but we’re here. Again. So, come on Thor, join the men before you start some rumors.”

  I shifted to Roam, and she sat back against the chair. “You do kind of look like… Thor. And your voice is deeper.”

  “Logan,” I ignored their references, focusing. “Will you keep watch tonight? I’m going to her room.”

  He sighed, turning his back to us. “You need
to think this through. What if Eva doesn’t get us out of here? In time? You think Troy will be okay with his new bride showing up… used?”

  She shuddered, and I stood as her father was approaching. Apparently, our little conference was lasting too long for his liking.

  “He’s not touching her.”

  My growl turned his face my way. “I’m fucking serious. You said this is the past. If we fuck something up, we fuck it all up.”

  “Stop with the fuck talk!” Roam shouted, and several women standing nearby turned their shocked faces in her direction.

  “We’ll talk later. Roam, I’ll see you tonight.” I bowed to her, and walked away with Logan at my side.

  “Do you see what I’m saying? Troy told me that they loved each other very much, and then when she returned to him for the wedding, she hated him. I think we’ve got that part covered.”

  I stopped, stilling in the middle of the corridor.

  “What?” He prodded.

  “This is… why.”

  “What is why?” He insisted, and I turned to watch Roam follow her mother to another antechamber.

  “This is why she returned, hating him. Because of us. Because we were sent back here.”

  Logan shot me a confused glare. “What, this is some kind of… loop? We’ve already done this?”

  I slowly drew from everything I’d learned about time travel and science. “She loved him before today. She really did- this princess did- until the moment her body was taken over by my wife. She loves me because… because I’m her husband. It’s a paradox. The entire prophecy- the history- all of it is a paradox.”

  “What in the hell are you talking about?”

  “Logan,” I stared at him. “In the beginning. Troy told you that Mina fell in love with him, and she went back to her kingdom to prepare for the wedding. When she returned, she despised him. She had an affair with you first, and then me.”

  “I’m not going after her, so calm down,” he snapped, wrinkling his nose disgustedly. “This’ll be- what- the third time you take her virginity? Give me a break.”

  “She needs to be pregnant… with my child.”